| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|12:06 pm] |
mein Herz brennt
mein Blut kocht
meinem Kopf schreit
für Sie nicht mehr
Abschied von meiner Liebe habe ich alle meine
aber jetzt ist es mir dann zu fallen
Abschied nun sehen Sie mich nicht mehr
Ich kämpfte und mühte alle umsonst
aber gerne lieben
Denn ich will nicht |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|01:23 pm] |
and i have no completely cut all negative ties left over from people i went to high school with.
granted that comes with said person wanting to kick my ass but, i'll take the good with the bad lol.
think positive.
J |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|11:09 pm] |
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oh btw 3 months sober. |
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| wtf america? |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|03:04 pm] |
i always feel like this every time i see the 4th episode of Band of Brothers (Replacements) its after the troops get to a town in Holland thats been freed of German occupation. and three soldiers run into a man and his son who were hiding in their bomb shelter. they give the man a cig and the kid a bar of chocolate. and everyone is so incredibly happy that the Americans have come.
flash forwards.
no one likes us. we're one of the most hated countries in the world. wtf america. we need to go back to minding our own business except when its absolutely nessessary. we are not the world police who we are is goddamn superman. we're supposed to be the protectors of the downtrodden and innocent. we're waging a war against pissed off civilians that we created. and there are genocides happening throughout the world. one thats most distinct in my head is Darfur. the rebels/terrorists/FREEDOM FIGHTERS there have gone on record about how they just need to hold out until the white people come to save them. America is supposed to already be there saving them. that is what our job as "world police" is. not furthering our own imperialistic empire of demoncracy.
wtf america. wtf.
am i the only one who wants to be absolutely loved for being an american because america is fucking awesome and everyone loves us unless you're an evil cunt?
im not opposed to all war, but certain wars are fucking wrong. |
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| drug addiction |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|08:06 am] |
i found a song by one of my favorite artists, and its the perfect description of what its like being a drug addict.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdXKBF5RB8U
[1st Verse]
Don't you come near me cause the devils sittin' next to me
I drink my drink and smoke my weed and pop my extacy.
Then add some GHB and mushrooms to the recipe, this means
I'm really letting the beast within get the best of me
If you can hear me, I need help I'm caught and
I'm stuck and I'm trapped in me self don't understand
This fucked off hand that G. delt lazarus help
Me cause he's hazardous to T's health.
He set trippin' he's tryin' to get a nigga killed
And get a nigga pealed the other side is gonna rid
Him in a field no sentimental feelin's sit'em in necro
Buildings, I tried to tell'em where you going you will
Not see your women and your children.
He popped 15 hits of ex in one night, licked big titts
Had sex with some dikes and he won't use protection
For my erection constantly makin' me get that
Penicillin injection
Wait, I hear voices speakin' from inside
I'm out front wit it he creepin' and he hides
I can't help but notice he's kinda stuck up Imma
Let it slide but in the mean time shut the
Fuck up, and just ride.
[Chorus]
I'm a psycho baby
It's about to drive me crazy Backwards
[Repeat 2 times]
[2nd Verse]
When I was younger I used to faint at the sight
Of blood, now that I'm older I noticed it ain't at the
Sight of blood now the sight of blood equals the very
First sight of love, menstrual cycles feelin' like you right
At your height of drugs
Bleed 4 me baby angel hart rage fuckin' you makes
Me feel a murderous sensation blood mixed with
Ejaculation cum bustin' bump heads till concussions
After we done fuckin' if I can't get the spirit I've won
Nothin'
I got children, and a wife he's thinkin' of
Leaping off of buildings taking flight. By
Now somebody should have killed him, end his
Life but too many mutha fuckers feel him and his mic
Somebody stop him cause he's fuckin' up my lively
Hood, with me trapped inside this psycho how can
I be good to my wifey if it's remotely close to a
Punani he's in it monster runnin' us back and forth to
The free clinic
If you're a friend, time to say too da loo
Cause ain't no possible way he can ever be true
To you, cancel your appointment to do the do
If he wants to kill himself what the fuck you
Think he wanna do to you?
[Chorus]
[(Repeat 2 times) Backwards]
[3rd Verse]
I am a nightmare walkin', psychopath talkin' brain
Deteriorating cause of x pill poppin' I got
More troubles what ever you got it doubles
And triples and quadruples having fantasies of eating
Nipples and noodles
Drugs take the pain away, used to have a lot of love
But now it fade away
The fact that women love the music and they open
Their legs 4 a psychopathic nigga that's so fucked up in the
Head is beautiful
For my family this isn't suitable (devil bitches alert)
(No) gotta recruit a few this niggas gonna do me
Harm I'm drugged up and I'm torn look at this
Mutha fucker he colored my hair orange
You can't touch me everybody loves me listening to my
Music children are getting ugly. If I told you everything
I was thinkin' it wouldn't be G. tellin' you how many
Crossed my path just wouldn't be me
But they know cause they way lo how bout some ex
And fry and ya yo and fuck a ha hlo a lot of Jim Beam
To have grim dreams would be healthy I'm trapped
In a psychos body can you help me?
[Chorus]
[(Repeat 4 times) Backwards] |
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| and now for something completely different. |
[May. 7th, 2009|07:43 am] |
sorry bout the length but im not gonna put this behind a cut.
*Published on Monday, April 13, 2009 by Huffington Post*
You Are Being Lied to About Pirates
by Johann Hari
Who imagined that in 2009, the world's governments would be declaring a new War on Pirates? As you read this, the British Royal Navy - backed by the ships of more than two dozen nations, from the US to China - is sailing into Somalian waters to take on men we still picture as parrot-on-the-shoulder pantomime villains. They will soon be fighting Somalian ships and even chasing the pirates onto land, into one of the most broken countries on earth. But behind the arrr-me-hearties oddness of this tale, there is an untold scandal. The people our governments are labeling as "one of the great menace of our times" have an extraordinary story to tell -- and some justice on their side.
Pirates have never been quite who we think they are. In the "golden age of piracy" - from 1650 to 1730 - the idea of the pirate as the senseless, savage thief that lingers today was created by the British government in a great propaganda-heave. Many ordinary people believed it was false: pirates were often rescued from the gallows by supportive crowds. Why? What did they see that we can't? In his book Villains of All nations, the historian Marcus Rediker pores through the evidence to find out. If you became a merchant or navy sailor then - plucked from the docks of London's East End, young and hungry - you ended up in a floating wooden Hell. You worked all hours on a cramped, half-starved ship, and if you slacked off for a second, the all-powerful captain would whip you with the Cat O' Nine Tails. If you slacked consistently, you could be thrown overboard. And at the end of months or years of this, you were often cheated of your wages.
Pirates were the first people to rebel against this world. They mutinied against their tyrannical captains - and created a different way of working on the seas. Once they had a ship, the pirates elected their captains, and made all their decisions collectively. They shared their bounty out in what Rediker calls "one of the most egalitarian plans for the disposition of resources to be found anywhere in the eighteenth century." They even took in escaped African slaves and lived with them as equals. The pirates showed "quite clearly - and subversively - that ships did not have to be run in the brutal and oppressive ways of the merchant service and the Royal navy." This is why they were popular, despite being unproductive thieves.
The words of one pirate from that lost age - a young British man called William Scott - should echo into this new age of piracy. Just before he was hanged in Charleston, South Carolina, he said: "What I did was to keep me from perishing. I was forced to go a-pirating to live." In 1991, the government of Somalia - in the Horn of Africa - collapsed. Its nine million people have been teetering on starvation ever since - and many of the ugliest forces in the Western world have seen this as a great opportunity to steal the country's food supply and dump our nuclear waste in their seas.
Yes: nuclear waste. As soon as the government was gone, mysterious European ships started appearing off the coast of Somalia, dumping vast barrels into the ocean. The coastal population began to sicken. At first they suffered strange rashes, nausea and malformed babies. Then, after the 2005 tsunami, hundreds of the dumped and leaking barrels washed up on shore. People began to suffer from radiation sickness, and more than 300 died. Ahmedou Ould-Abdallah, the UN envoy to Somalia, tells me: "Somebody is dumping nuclear material here. There is also lead, and heavy metals such as cadmium and mercury - you name it." Much of it can be traced back to European hospitals and factories, who seem to be passing it on to the Italian mafia to "dispose" of cheaply. When I asked Ould-Abdallah what European governments were doing about it, he said with a sigh: "Nothing. There has been no clean-up, no compensation, and no prevention."
At the same time, other European ships have been looting Somalia's seas of their greatest resource: seafood. We have destroyed our own fish-stocks by over-exploitation - and now we have moved on to theirs. More than $300m worth of tuna, shrimp, lobster and other sea-life is being stolen every year by vast trawlers illegally sailing into Somalia's unprotected seas. The local fishermen have suddenly lost their livelihoods, and they are starving. Mohammed Hussein, a fisherman in the town of Marka 100km south of Mogadishu, told Reuters: "If nothing is done, there soon won't be much fish left in our coastal waters."
This is the context in which the men we are calling "pirates" have emerged. Everyone agrees they were ordinary Somalian fishermen who at first took speedboats to try to dissuade the dumpers and trawlers, or at least wage a 'tax' on them. They call themselves the Volunteer Coastguard of Somalia - and it's not hard to see why. In a surreal telephone interview, one of the pirate leaders, Sugule Ali, said their motive was "to stop illegal fishing and dumping in our waters... We don't consider ourselves sea bandits. We consider sea bandits [to be] those who illegally fish and dump in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas." William Scott would understand those words.
No, this doesn't make hostage-taking justifiable, and yes, some are clearly just gangsters - especially those who have held up World Food Programme supplies. But the "pirates" have the overwhelming support of the local population for a reason. The independent Somalian news-site WardherNews conducted the best research we have into what ordinary Somalis are thinking - and it found 70 percent "strongly supported the piracy as a form of national defence of the country's territorial waters." During the revolutionary war in America, George Washington and America's founding fathers paid pirates to protect America's territorial waters, because they had no navy or coastguard of their own. Most Americans supported them. Is this so different?
Did we expect starving Somalians to stand passively on their beaches, paddling in our nuclear waste, and watch us snatch their fish to eat in restaurants in London and Paris and Rome? We didn't act on those crimes - but when some of the fishermen responded by disrupting the transit-corridor for 20 percent of the world's oil supply, we begin to shriek about "evil." If we really want to deal with piracy, we need to stop its root cause - our crimes - before we send in the gun-boats to root out Somalia's criminals.
The story of the 2009 war on piracy was best summarised by another pirate, who lived and died in the fourth century BC. He was captured and brought to Alexander the Great, who demanded to know "what he meant by keeping possession of the sea." The pirate smiled, and responded: "What you mean by seizing the whole earth; but because I do it with a petty ship, I am called a robber, while you, who do it with a great fleet, are called emperor." Once again, our great imperial fleets sail in today - but who is the robber? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2009|07:42 am] |
reality is just a hallucination
the revolution will be synthesized.
H+ |
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| happy 420 |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|07:26 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Stare at the Sun - MDFMK | ] |
i will not be taking part in the celebrations which marks a year clean for me lol.
on another note; why are kids fucking retarded? my soon to be marine little brother is getting married to a girl who he's spent physical time around for all of 2.5 weeks. he's 18 and she'll have just turned 18. granted if i actually liked any part of her i might feel differently but she's still completely immature and in debates instead of trying to back up her point she just runs away and cries. i'm sorry if you're almost 18 and still doing that, please press restart and try again. and no im not telling her to kill herself right there. but her personality is toxic. i've never met a bossy victim. cause she plays the victim card 24-7 but bosses everyone around. she had fun when she realized i didnt respond and just called her out on her shit. but seriously, known eachother for 2 months and actually seen eachother for a grand total of 2.5 weeks? not enough time to decide to get married. but she posted a facebook note asking what song they should dance to. any suggestions? i said Control by MDFMK |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2009|02:45 am] |
there is something to be said for the serene calm and inner peace that occurs in the wee hours of the night. i feel its something most people miss. when almost all the town is sleeping, there are no distractions, only a subconscious almost meditative state that is achieved almost instantly.
on another note; i wonder what bird is singing outside right now, they made me smile while i was enjoying the night air. |
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| declaration of intent |
[Apr. 18th, 2009|05:52 pm] |
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it has been one month and three days since i have had a drink of alcohol. i am feeling quite proud of myself. this streak shall continue until otherwise noted. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2009|07:44 am] |
the dotted blue one is the one we're doing. anyone wanna join? my brother Little Bird is passing word around through the tribes, but i'm trying to see if there are any other Quakers or anyone else who would want to do this. |
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| x posted tomorrow. |
[Mar. 8th, 2009|01:25 am] |
this is written mainly so i can remember what to say to my brother Matt tomorrow. for the record, i'm drunk.
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|12:19 pm] |
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So, Iowa is officially not happening. however, i did get promoted to full on Lab Tech :) |
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| biggest undertaking ever. |
[Feb. 26th, 2009|08:16 am] |
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so it's decided. at least my brother Little Bird and I will be walking the entire Nunna daul Isunyi or Trail of Tears. going to be a very long walk and very long before we can actually do it. planning's going to be a bitch but oh well. Even if he bails i'm still doing it. some people talk about how they walked the AT well imna walk the Trail of Tears. if you really want all my messy reasons i will give them to you if you ask. just keep an open mind about how i tend to not make too much sense to most people, but it made perfect sense to the two Natives i've talked it over with. |
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| stolen from my sister. |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|12:33 pm] |
The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. I will definitely not be giving you any hints.
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well. I guess I won't really maaaaake you, but....
i also reserve the right to forget about this which i will innact 5 minutes from posting. so please remind me. damn that short term memory. |
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| RIP Julian |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|09:39 am] |
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
Sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... An American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|05:41 pm] |
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Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...
NBPC - The DaydreamerNature, Background, Big Picture, and Color 
You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow. The Perception Personality Types: 
Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy
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| interesting... |
[Jan. 5th, 2009|12:47 pm] |
So i might be moving to Iowa from March to August and then from Iowa to either San Diego or San Fran. both of which would be me moving there to work for my company which is starting up other companies. so its very interesting. be getting salary, company reimbursement for school, housing, etc. its a very cool opportunity but for some reason i'm actually nervous and in all honesty scared about doing it lol. which i tried talking to my roommate about and he cant understand why but he's a little piece of shit anyways who doesnt care about anything other than himself and his bipolar. cause another cool part about the job in Cali is if i get my Bachlors degree i'll be made lab manager. but of course he has another thing to say about that which is that'll take school and theres no way i can finish school. my monkish patience (which has seriously reached monk level after dealing with him for 6 months) is running thin. there will be no violence because violence doesnt really solve all that much. but i could call him out to the point of pretty much ripping out his soul. and the more of mine he takes the more i want to at least call him out a little. wow, this turned from a happy hey guess what i just got a really cool job opportunity post to a goddamn i hate my roommate cause he makes me wanna do drugs die or commit murder post. so im gonna end it already before i go on for 4 hours about him.
i really am excited about this job opportunity but moving to a whole new place where i know absolutely no one is scary lol. oh well. we'll see how it works |
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| new years |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|01:50 pm] |
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happy new years yall |
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